


DeathNote Compilation

by ColdWarSaint



Category: Death Note
Genre: Compilation, Deathnote - Freeform, F/M, Flash Fiction, Fluff, Meronia, Violence, neko, pondering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 21:36:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9033014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdWarSaint/pseuds/ColdWarSaint
Summary: A collection of short pieces I've written for this fandom. Some are most definitely better than others. I will put them in order of earliest written to last. (Which might be a mistake as the earliest ones are the worst and then they get better.) I suggest reading the summary to find a good one.Fics include: Graphic violence, Fem!NearxMello, Neko!Near*, and assorted pondering on Mello and Near's relationship.  *This one is my favorite.





	1. Blood and Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the violent chapter. It's pretty much just Mello trying to kill Near. I don't have much context for this. I don't actually recall when I wrote it, but it's just medically inaccurate violence and angst as far as I can tell. If you hate Near this might be good. I personally love Near. I don't know why I do this to him...

Near wiped the blood from his mouth and gave Mello a level glare.  
“I warned you. I told you to listen to me.” He said sounding slightly annoyed.  
“Yeah.” Mello shrugged. “Though it is satisfying to see you bleed like a human.”  
Mello pulled the lever a second time, harder. The broken mechanisms creaked and snapped. The metal bar swung out again but this time Near was ready. He ducked and regarded Mello from a crouch. His mouth was still bleeding from the first blow.  
“Mello, please,” Near spoke with sarcasm, “if it didn’t work the first time it’s not going to work a second time.”  
“I wasn’t aiming for it to work.” He growled in response. Then he kicked out the supporting bar on the machine. Near’s eyes hardly had time to widen before he was forced to roll to the side to avoid getting crushed under a heavy weight.  
“Mello!” Matt yelled. “What are you doing?!”  
“Putting him in his place.” Mello grinned with bloodlust. “Like we should have done a long, long time ago.”  
“We?! No! You are not dragging me into this.” Matt backed up. “Come on Mello. Just stop before you do something you regret.”  
Mello ignored him and strode toward Near who stood his ground glaring defiantly up at him. With surprising speed Near actually dodged the first punch and landed one of his own. This only enraged Mello and not much else. Though he had not expected Nears speed Mello easily overpowered him.  
“MELLO!” Matt yelled as Mello sent Near flying across the room. “Just stop!”  
Mello showed no reaction to Matts yells. Instead he ran across the room, picked Near up by his collar and slammed him into the wall.  
“About time you showed some nerve.” Near choked. “After all violence is the only thing your good at.”  
“Shut! Up!” Mello yelled shaking him with every word. Mello then flipped Near onto his back on the floor and pushed his boot down hard on his chest. “For once I just want you to shut up!”  
Near gave him an infuriatingly calm stare despite the shiny crimson sheen covering half his face. Mello put more weight on his boot. He wanted to see emotion on Nears face for once. He wanted the superior albino boy to feel pain with an unexplainable desperation.  
The determination in those unbreakable grey eyes flickered. He shoved the boot down harder. Then, as if he could have just imagined it, Near grimaced.  
“Does it hurt?” Mello asked quietly. “Do you feel pain?”  
Near opened his mouth to respond but the breath was forced from his lungs with a hard boot step. His face contorted in pain. Mello smiled cruelly. Suddenly he was shoved away from Near. Matt stood before him with a grim expression.  
“Mello. Think about this.”  
“I have!” He stepped towards Matt. “And you’re either with me or against me!”  
“I’m sorry.” Matt said, shaking his head. “I can’t support this.”  
“Then leave.” Mello backed Matt towards the doorway. “Leave!”  
Matt hesitated before turning, his shoulders slumped. “Sorry Mello. I’m sorry Near.”  
Then he ran. Mello turned back to Near who had sat up and was coughing.  
“Even turning away your,” He was interrupted by a fit of coughing, “only friend. Just for me, I’m flattered.”  
“You.” Mello snarled. “Do not seem to realize the severity of your situation or how far I will go.”  
Near only gave a small smile while wiping away the blood from his face. “You may be being hasty, Mello. You shouldn’t allow your temper to rule your actions.”  
“I see. You think you will be able to talk me out of hurting you. Not this time.”  
His words were followed by a swift kick to the side that Near barely avoided. Yet he couldn’t avoid every blow. Mello caught his arm when Near tried to return his punch and twisted it behind his back.  
“I want you to beg Near. I want you to admit that you’re below me.”  
“Never.” Near replied calmly.  
Mello twisted his arm further. He could have imagined the small whimper that Near gave. He wanted to be sure.  
“That’s right. I want to see you in pain.”  
“Mello…” This time Near’s voice was more strained. He kicked out backwards, trying to get out of Mello’s grip. Mello used the momentum of the kick to shove Near to his knees. He doubled the pressure on Near’s arm.  
“Stop, you know-Ah!” Near’s convincing was cut off by a cry of pain then a sharp intake of breath. There was a slight cracking noise emanating from then bone in his arm.  
Mello relaxed the pressure and watched Near’s whole body go limp in relief. He then jerked the arm in a sudden, hard motion. The sickening snap was audible, so was Near’s scream. Near collapsed onto the ground, only his shattered arm held aloft by Mello.  
“L-let it go Mello… p-p-”  
“Please?” Mello asked mockingly. “That’s the best you can do? Please? I want you to beg!”  
He twisted the arm. Near let out another scream that dissolved into sobbing hiccups.  
“Amazing.” Mello muttered. “It cries. It actually can feel. I was beginning to doubt it.”  
Near’s screams were something Mello had never heard. He had also never seen the boy cry. Somehow seeing them both gave him pleasure. He felt superior.  
“I won’t beg…” Near whispered through his tears. “Not…not for a-anyone.”  
“We’ll see about that.” Mello said, dropping the arm which landed with a hard thump and muffled cry. He left Near and went back to machine. Searching through the mangled parts it was easy to find what he was looking for.  
Near hadn’t bothered to sit up or move. Mello grabbed his collar again and slammed him into the wall. In his other hand he held a long, sharp piece of steel. Near met his glare evenly with his red-rimmed eyes.  
“Mello don’t do this.” He was barely speaking. “It’s… not worth it…You don’t know what you’re doing.”  
“I know very well what I’m doing.” Mello leveled the point of the metal just under Nears left ribcage. “I’ll give you one last chance to beg.”  
“Never-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”Near screamed a horrible, helpless scream as Mello thrust the rod halfway into his torso. His grey eyes, cloudy with pain, rolled back into his head for a minute but he snapped back to reality.  
“Beg.”  
Near grimaced and spit blood onto Mellos shirt, unable to bring himself to speak. Mello thrust the rod further into the small albino boy, enraged. He twisted the ragged metal through his system.  
“Beg!”  
Near could only scream. Waves of blood poured down his white pajamas with each beat of his heart, soaking them in red.  
“Beg!!”  
Mello became only aware of his rage as he tore at his lifelong opponent with the steel.  
“Why won’t you beg?!”  
As Mello yelled the screaming stopped. The struggling stopped.  
“Answer me! Is this worth your pride?!”  
He got no answer. Soon the haze of red cleared from around his vision.  
“Near?”  
He lay limp against the wall. Even with another twist of the rod there was no response, no jerking movement. Not a single whimper.  
“Near…”  
Mello pulled the metal out of Near and allowed his body to fall to the ground. The anger now completely faded he saw what he had done clearly. Near’s clothes were soaked in blood, his arm twisted at an unnatural angle next to him, and his chest torn to pieces. The fabric was shredded, underneath Mello could see muscle and the white gleam of bone.  
Mello leaned forward and touched Near. Then he looked down at himself. He was covered in Near’s blood also. He fell back onto his heels in a crouch by the body.  
“I did this.” He whispered to his blood soaked hands. “I should’ve listened…to Matt.”  
A pulling distracted him. He looked down to see Near’s open grey eyes, the hand that wasn’t shattered pulling on his shirt.  
“Mello…” Blood bubbled up from his mouth.  
“You- you shouldn’t be alive!” Mello was horrified at the sight in front of him.  
“You…you wanted m-me to beg…” Near gasped, face contorting in pain. Mello could see his muscles flexing also, inside his stomach. “I’ll…I’ll beg now…”  
“No.” Mello replied, sickened. “You don’t have to…”  
But Near continued as if he hadn’t heard him at all. “Please…please, Mello…I-I should’ve…should’ve done…w-what you wanted me too…just please…please I-I beg you…kill me.”  
“Kill? You…”  
“Nothing-g could be m-more painful t-than…than w-what you did to me…I can’t…I don’t…want to endure…”  
“Near, I won’t, I can’t kill you.” Mello whispered. “This is my fault. Maybe I can… I don’t know! Fix you?”  
“Mello!” Near forced himself to sit up slightly and weakly clutch Mello’s arm. “I’ll…I’ll do a-anything you want…if-if you just k-kill me…”  
His sudden strength faded and he fell backwards. He gave a gurgled cry through the blood in his throat. Mello no longer felt superior for hurting him. He felt sick.  
“Mello!” Matt’s voice broke through Mello’s guilt. He wondered if it was an illusion until he saw Mat’s red hair bobbing up behind the machine.  
“Over here.” He called weakly.  
Matt ran up and froze when he saw Near. “Hell…I’m too late aren’t I?”  
L walked in behind Matt. He froze when he saw Near like Matt had done. Near looked dazedly up at them. Tears of blood ran down his pale cheeks.  
“So-o m-many of you…I-I don’t care w-what anyone o-of you…you wants j-just please, please… free me f-from my misery…”  
Matt inhaled sharply. “That’s so wrong.” The he looked up at Mello. “Are you happy now?”  
Mello shook his head. “This isn’t what I wanted.”  
L leaned over and gingerly lifted Near into his arms. He didn’t seem to mind the blood that soaked into his white shirt. Near cried and buried his face in L’s shoulder as if, on some level, he recognized him.  
“Why won’t…”He whispered. “Why won’t you let me die?”  
Mello dropped his head into his hands, avoiding L’s gaze. “What will happen if…”  
“If he dies?” L filled in. “I don’t know. To be fair you would have to be charged with murder.”  
“I thought,” He broke off and sighed. “Yeah.”  
Nears fingers on his broken arm twitched. “Murder…murder…would….”  
“He’s lost a lot of blood. We’re leaving. Now.” L commanded. “And I’m not going to leave you here alone.”  
L strode from the room leading Mello by the arm. He kept the same calm expression all through Wammy’s. Mello avoided the looks and whispers of the other kids. He glared straight ahead, painfully aware of the blood covering his body. Matt followed close behind. All four loaded into L’s car and were driven to the nearest hospital.

 

Mello paced outside the door with a frenzied speed. It had been two months since he’d last seen Near. He was just glad that the boy had lived and that he had not been charged with murder. How would Near react to him? He was about to find out.  
“Alright.” The nurse told him. “Come in.”  
Near sat looking out the window in his wheelchair. He didn’t turn when Mello came in. He didn’t speak. Mello walked around and stood facing Near. Near stared out at the lawn, ignoring him.  
“Near,” Mello started. He received no answer. He noticed that the cold expression was back on Near’s face. He raised an arm to put on Near’s shoulder.  
“Ah!” Near flinched back as if Mello had been about to strike him. Mello saw a flash of that same pain he had seen before. Slowly he lowered his arm.  
“Are you going to apologize?” Near asked with forced calm.  
Mello said nothing, reluctant to do just that. Near looked away again  
“You made me beg. You brought me down to the lowest possible level. You humiliated me.” Near placed a hand on the windowsill, it shook. “And you reduced my lifespan by almost 20 years. I can never do the things you can. Not now. Not anymore.”  
“I’m sorry.” Mello admitted reluctantly. “Really, I am.”  
“Just leave.” Near replied but the command held no power. Not when he was talking to Mello. “Please.”  
Please. It was weird for Mello to hear Near say that and know it was because of what he’d done. He backed away from Near then stopped.  
“I don’t want to see you again, Mello.”  
Mello nodded and continued walking. He looked back only once. Near sat alone, the thick blanket draped across his lap emphasizing his small size. In the end it could have been a trick of the light or a reflection in the glass that created the tears on his cheeks.  


Near yelled in frustration as his legs gave out again. He could never walk again, he had been told but… No! It was pointless! They had been right. He collapsed on the floor fighting back tears. This was because of Mello. He hated Mello. Hated him for taking away his legs, his mobility, his strength, what little he had, and his pride. He couldn’t even complete a puzzle now without assistance. More than anything he wanted revenge but the memories of pain died hard and terror is a strong emotion.  
“Oh no!” The nurse exclaimed, walking in. She gently helped him back into his wheelchair. “I brought you breakfast.”  
“Put it by the bed.” Near sighed. He hated that he needed help. That he had to rely on the nurses for even the most basic things.  
“You have a visitor.” She said, setting down the tray.  
“If it’s Mello you can tell him I don’t want to see him.”  
“it’s not Mello.”  
“Then send them in.”  
She paused in the open door. “Don’t you want to know who it is?”  
Near shook his head. He heard the door close. In a few moments it reopened. Matt walked around to face Near and sat down on the bed. They sat in silence. Finally Matt spoke.  
“Look I’m sorry I let Mello, you know, do this to you.”  
“You didn’t know.” Near wheeled closer to his breakfast. “None of us did.”  
“No.” Matt avoided his gaze. “I did know. That’s why I’m sorry. I knew exactly what he was going to do and I ran.”  
Near halted his motion. Matt continued. “I could have stopped him but I didn’t. Truth was that I just cared about my own needs. At the time I hardly gave your fate a second thought.”  
“But…” Near processed the information, “you got L.”  
“Yeah. To establish myself as a hero kinda, you know? So I wouldn’t be at all involved.”  
Near is silent for a long time. “I… forgive you. And only you. Because you have never been equal to either of us and I can’t hold you to the esteem I held him.”  
Matt’s mouth opens and closes. Then he nods. How can he expect to defend himself looking at Near like this?  
“Thanks… I really am sorry.”


	2. Fem!Near and Mello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is about Near and Mello after they're married and Mello cheats on Near. I think this one is... not very well written in the sense that it's overwrought but it's "poetic", I suppose. I recommend if you ship Mello and Near or like traditionally overwrought fanfiction and angst. (Or have a soft spot for Fem!Near)

Mello sighed and adjusted his tight leather vest as much as possible before unlocking the door. He didn’t bother turning on any lights. Slipping off his shoes he walked softly through the kitchen. He was surprised at the glow coming through the open bedroom door.  
“Natalie, baby?” He called. “Are you up?”  
He got no response so continued into the room. Near was sitting in the middle of their huge white canopy bed. She was wearing a small, white, floaty nightgown. Her white curly hair had gotten long since she’d stopped cutting it and it now reached down to her waist. Candles surrounding the room provided the light and illuminated her pale features. Near kept her hands clasped tightly in her lap with her head down.  
“Natalie what’s all this?” Mello asked softly. He climbed up on the bed and kneeled in front of her. She raised a hand and twirled her fingers in her hair like she had always done.   
“Oh.” She said softly. “Mello.”  
Uh oh. Near never used his fake name unless something was seriously wrong. She placed her other hand behind her back. Mello ignored the motion and gently clasped her shoulders.  
“What’s wrong, doll?” He asked nervously. He feared she knew something she wasn’t supposed to know.  
“Why do you sound so nervous?” She asked and looked up at him with wide grey eyes. “Nothing is wrong.”  
She leaned into him and he relaxed, wrapping her into a hug. He kissed the top of her head. Suddenly he felt cold steel against the side of his neck.   
“I told you not to come home.” She said coldly.  
“What?” Mello asked feeling light headed.   
“If you ever cheated on me. I told you not to come home.” Mello felt his whole body go numb. “That’s right,” She continued, “I know everything. How did you think that I wouldn’t? I am the next L! I am one of the world’s greatest detectives! I. Am. Not. A. Fool.”  
“Natalie it’s not what you think!” Mello said desperately. “I only love you!”  
“Love.” Near scoffed. “That word means nothing to me after what you’ve done. Why did you do it Mello? I need to know. Was it because of me?”  
“No! No! It was nothing you did.” Mello said, surprised she blamed herself.  
“Did you only marry me to hurt me?” She’s trembling slightly, her face a mask. “I felt this you know. A mix of sadness, regret, guilt, and rage. Rage so strong it hurt. I’m emotionally unstable right now and I may do something…” The blade drew blood, “illogical.”  
“Illogical.” Mello breathed. He should have never hurt her. She was his angel, his perfectly broken angel. Cold and beautiful. To see her like this felt wrong. “Please, Natalie you will never know how sorry I am.”  
“I think I will.” She whispered into his ear. Her breath smelled like fresh mint and spring rain. “I will kill you myself for your betrayal.”  
“Natalie please! I am begging you to hear me out!” Mello could overpower the small woman, sure, but didn’t want to.  
“Why? I know all I need to know.” Near moved the knife down his arm, creating a thin red slash. “I have never felt this much emotion all at once.”  
Mello winced. “It wasn’t you! It was never you! It was always me. I have a-a tendency to hurt…to hurt those that I most love.”  
“You have succeeded in that.” Near glared, but as she always had she softened when she saw Mello’s tears.  
‘”I-I knew it would hurt you…I knew you would figure i-it out and that’s why,” He shook his head, “why I did it. Because I had to hurt you. There is something so wrong with me…”  
“I always knew. All that time.” Near leaned into Mello. “Hate and love are the same to you aren’t they?”  
“I think they always will be…” Near felt Mello’s tears fall on her cheeks when she tipped her face up. “I am so sorry…”  
Near cried with him, her tears mixing with his. Mello gripped her wrist and the knife fell from her hand. He was kissing her then with all of the desperation of a dying man. He put all of his love, hate, and emotion into that one contact.   
She pulled away and buried her head into his leather vest. “Mello don’t ever leave me again.”   
Her breathed in her scent. “I don’t know if I can promise you that.”  
No one could ever affect them the way they did each other. Each one held the key to the others emotions. Emotions that could otherwise never be touched. One was passion, the other ice, both in their own way haunted but no longer alone.


	3. Neko!Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite one!! This one is about little Near as a tiny cat boy in Wammys. This one is entirely fluff and humor. I should have put this one first...  
> I recommend this one for anyone who needs some cuteness or a laugh.

Near leaned into Matt, a purring noise rumbling from his small chest. Matt continued to rub the small boy’s white hair with something like confusion. Near may have had cat ears and a cat tail but Matt didn’t think he would be so cat-like. Something soft brushed Matt’s face. He realized it was Nears tail, curling in pleasure. The small albino climbed onto the redheads lap and curled up there. Matt smiled softly. This was a little weird but he always had wanted to own a cat.  
“Good, kitty, kitty.” He whispered, scratching just behind Nears ear.   
“Matt I’m not- Ohh, that’s nice,” After saying this the purring noise tripled in volume. His whole, small body shook with the force of it.  
Matt’s smile grew wider and fonder. Near pushed his head into the redheads open hand, wanting him to keep going. This is just like having a cat, I’ll bet, Matt thought. A few minutes later Mello walked in.  
Matt didn’t notice at first, he was still too busy stroking his ‘cat’. Near had fallen asleep and his purring faded to a soft rumbling.  
“Matt! What are you-”   
“Shhh…He’s sleeping.” Matt quickly cut off Mello’s yell. Near stirred gently, wrapping his tail around himself and stayed asleep.  
“Why are you petting Near?!” Mello forced his voice into a lower decimal.   
“He likes it!” Matt said with a childlike grin.  
“Is this ‘cause I won’t let you sneak a cat in here?” Mello demanded, his eyes narrowing slightly.  
“What?” Matt asked innocently. “No! Of course not! Near just couldn’t sleep was all. He needed help.”  
Mello gave an I-can’t-believe-you snort. “You are in denial. And, frankly, the whole situation creeps me out. So kick that little freak out of here.”  
“No!” Matt whispered with horror, “I can’t abandon him now! Isn’t that right?”  
The last part had been cooed to the small albino boy on his lap. In response the catlike child snuggled further into Matt and curled his little hands around one of the redhead’s knees.   
Mello rolled his eyes. “He’s asleep. When he wakes up he’ll be less cuddly, trust me.”   
Matt didn’t respond, he ruffled Near’s hair and smiled again. “You’re such a cute kitty.”  
Near smiled softly in his sleep and Matt looked quite pleased with himself.  
“Coincidence,” He growled, sitting so he faced Matt. “Near doesn’t like you at all, you know. He doesn’t think you’re his friend. You’re nothing to that manipulative albino.”  
Matt gasped and covered Nears ears. “Don’t say that, Mello!”  
“Dear-” Mello stood, “Alright looks like we’ll have to do this the hard way.”  
“Mello! No!” Matt hissed as the blond leaned over the bed and grabbed Near’s arm.  
Matt grabbed his other arm and pulled against Mello. “Stop it!”  
Near’s eyes shot open and he quickly assessed his situation. Matt and Mello were locked in a harsh tug-a-war with the boy.  
“He should stay here!”  
“No! He doesn’t belong here!”  
Near let out a small mewl of pain as his arm was nearly yanked from the socket by a particularly hard pull from Mello .  
“Mello, Matt,” He said, “Please let go of me.”  
“Ooooh! He woke up!”  
“You heard him! Let him go, Matt!”  
“No! You’ll take him away!”  
“This,” Near tried to but in, “is a pointless task. Both of you can stop.”  
Both boys ignored him. Near was yanked back and forth until there was a loud ripping sound. Matt’s eyes widened as Near’s sleeve tore away from his pajamas and he went tumbling into Mello. They both fell backwards over the bed and hit the door. Near sat up on top of Mello who promptly shoved him to the ground.

“Hey. Hey Near. Pst. Near.”  
Near turns around slowly, white Persian cat ears twitching, “Can I help you Matt?”  
Matt is half behind his door holding a bowl of milk. He shakes it. The here kitty, kitty is so heavily implied Near almost corrects Matt. Instead he just looks from the bowl back up to the eager redhead’s face.   
“Matt if you wish to hang out with me you can simply ask.” He finally says, exasperated when Matt doesn’t get the point of his rather pointed look.   
“Well…do you want to hang out with me?” Matt opens the door to his room.   
Near’s eyes narrow slightly, “The last time I accepted, you and the hellion tore my clothing.”   
“We can go to your room!” Matt says, stepping out, still holding the milk.   
Near’s expression tightens but he really doesn’t have anything better to do and he does love milk- as much as he does not want Matt to know that at this point. “Fine.”   
Matt grins hugely and follows Near back to his room, milk in tow. The albino boy does not even spare the treat a second glance. As much as he does love cat things he’s mildly insulted. The bowl is set between them on the floor when they sit down.   
“I know you want me to drink that.” Near finally says, after a moment of awkward silence. “And I want you to realize I can get my own milk at any point from the kitchen.”   
“Yeah but… like, do you want it? I added cream and stuff.” Matt is completely undeterred by the irritation in Near’s voice.   
“…” Near sighs. Clearly Matt has no ill intent. “Yes. Fine.”  
A cup is retrieved as well as a straw and the creamy milk is transferred into a much more dignified vessel before being consumed. Matt is delighted.   
“Do you want me to bring you more stuff? ‘Cause I will I think it’s so cute that you’re a cat- well, human, but also a cat- anyways-”   
There’s a loud bang and door to the room bursts in and Mello stands silhouetted in the hallway light. Matt shrieks. Near’s ears flatten down, his sipping unaffected.   
“I knew I’d find you here!!” Mello bellows dramatically, his voice seething with betrayal.   
Near rolls his eyes, Mello is completely ridiculous.   
“Mello nooooo! I’m sorry! I thought you were busy! You know you’re my best friend! He’s just a cat to me!” Matt says from his knees.   
“Just a cat to you? You know we don’t get along! Whose side are you on?” Mello demands, crossing his arms tightly.   
“Your side! Yours! Mostly yours…”  
“Mostly?!”   
“I want a cat!”  
“He’s not a cat he is NEAR!”  
“He is a cat Near!!”  
The sound of a straw sucking the empty bottom of a cup penetrates their argument as Near finishes his drink, “Please, kindly, have your arguments elsewhere. I know it seems like this isn’t true but I really do have a limited number of white shirts to wear. And I’d like them to stay intact.” 

 

“I just felt that we should... talk.”   
Near regards the boy speaking with distrust. Mello has never talked out an issue a day in his life, especially not with him. And especially not bringing tea.  
“To what end? I’m not the one who... is forcing a relationship.”  
“Yeah, Matt is- whatever- have tea.” He keeps shoving the cup towards him.   
Near sighs, “I’m not stupid; you’ve done something to it. I’m disappointed you aren’t being more creative about it as well.”   
Mello’s blue eyes narrow, “I don’t have to be creative because it’s not drugged. It’s just tea.”   
“Fine.” Near reaches for the tea, not intending to drink it, just wanting Mello to drop the issue, and perhaps leave his room. He realizes at the same moment Mello gives an evil grin, and the scent hits his nose, that drinking it won’t even be a choice.   
“Not a drug to me at least.” Mello adds with a glint in his eyes as the smaller boy’s ears perk up and he dips unintentionally towards the drink.   
Refusing this is going to be hard, because Near hasn’t had much experience with catnip and it smells so good... maybe just a small taste? Bad choice... Bad choice... SO good!   
He downs it.  
“HA!” Mello jumps up. He knows he’s just accomplished... something. Not 100 percent sure what but it’s something! Something to break that damn ice cold smug calm! Cat drugs make cats what... affectionate right?   
What he doesn’t know is that some cats are aggressive.  
“Was that good?” Mello asks mockingly. In response Near looks up, his pupils huge, hesitates a long moment, and then he attacks Mello.   
Well, leaps onto him, catching him off guard and knocking the boy over.  
“OH MY GOD NEAR GET OFF OF ME!!!”  
“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr- rawr! Raweow!!” Near responds in a playful way, with claws.  
“SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE CLAWS YOU- AH!! HEY!!”   
The catboy is not affected by yelling, scolding, or punches. He’s dug in his claws and he’s holding on tightly. Besides, Mello isn’t aiming to cause actual damage to Near. Sure the kid pisses him off but he doesn’t want to- IF THIS DAMN CHILD KEEP CLAWING HE’S GOING TO TAKE THAT BACK AND BREAK HIS DAMN FINGERS!! Harder punches are thrown- a shot to Near’s torso knocks the breath from him and Mello manages to throw him to the side. With a soft meow he goes limp.   
“Finally...” Mello stands up and dusts off. “Can’t even do drugs right, the freak...”  
“MELLO ARE YOU ALRIGHT!!” Matt bursts in- it’s been a theme in Near’s room lately.   
Mello gives him an irritated look, “5 minutes too late, Matt.”  
“Well you should have screamed louder than! I mean... everyone heard you but... that took at least 3 minutes and then I had to get here...”   
“Matt you can get to the rooms in less than 2 minutes.”  
“....Well...”  
“What game were you ignoring my yelling for?”  
“......So why are you in Near’s room?” Matt coughs instead of responding. “He looks kind of sick...?”   
“Is he standing?!” Mello spins around in time to be tackled. Again.  
“OMG! Mello! You stole my catnip didn’t you?” Matt gasps.  
“HELP ME YOU MORON!!”   
“I was saving that...”  
“GET HIM OFF!!!”  
“But I guess it’s good I didn’t use it, huh...?”  
“HE! IS! LICKING! ME!!!! MATT!!! IM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!! IF! YOU! DO! NOT! HELP!”   
Knowing that Mello may indeed murder Near prompts Matt to step in. He pries the smaller boy off of Mello and allows him to knead his legs and lick his cheeks.   
“Whoa! His tongue is rough... weird. Cat people are weird.”  
Mello glares, “They’re annoying as hell is what they are. This isn’t any better than his stupid calm... hey do you think that he can test like this?”   
Matt rolls his eyes, “Mello we both know you aren’t a cheater, just a rule breaker.”   
“Well... just keep him away from me.”  
“OKAY!”  
“Don’t sound so happy about it!!”  
“.....ok.”  
“Good.”


	4. Dear Mello...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Near looking back on his relationship with Mello. This takes place after all cannon events. This is pretty much just free form thought. I titled it Two sides of the same coin elsewhere. I recommend this for anyone else who over analyses the cannon.

To be honest I have felt less than whole since the Kira case…  
Near never writes down his feelings after that, never gets past the first sentence in his letters. Mello is dead. L is dead. Matt is dead. There is no one left to write to. He is sure, anyways, that Mello did not think of their relationship in the same way that he did. Mello did not see two sides of the same coin. To him Near was an obstacle, a challenge. Yet the man had saved his life once upon a time, when he could have turned his back. Then again, as much as Near knew Mello disliked him, he also knew Mello would give no victory to Light- he hated Kira more than he hated Near. And Near had forced his hand; he had deliberately scheduled the warehouse meeting knowing that Mello wouldn’t win. Both boys were competitive, and Near would be the first to admit he wanted to stay in first place- despite his equal willingness to work with Mello. Beating Kira was always more important than their rivalry to him. If Light had killed Near in that warehouse Mello would have lost an asset, information, and any sort of personal relationship aside Mello allowing Light to gain such a dramatic advantage in the case would have been foolish. Perhaps Mello even refused to simply use Linder to arrest Kira himself after Near’s murder because that would still give credit to the albino in part- even if only in Mello’s mind. Near’s best guess would be to say that he had forced Mello’s hand, had forced him to reveal his knowledge in a desperate attempt to win before Near could be killed; also, preventing the loss of an asset and preventing Kira from gaining anymore victories.   
But these were all just speculations. Near, in his own opinion, came very close to estimating Mello’s thoughts and motivations. Close was not full understanding. Either way it hardly mattered now. Now that Mello was dead. Not in the same way it mattered when Near had found that photograph, when he treated all the loose ends Mello had been to rash to remember. It served no purpose to allow Light any hold on Mello- and of course Near knew that Mello would come back to him: would be unable to continuously run. Not even the mafia could keep the two boys from coming into conflict.   
Conflict?  
They had worked together during the case in a number of ways. The photograph… did Mello only come because he didn’t trust Near? Near hadn’t betrayed Mello to the enemy- not once. Was it just mutual hatred of Kira that forced some kind of bond? Again, there was a need to defeat him. Really only Mello felt true dislike for Near anyways… And both of them also bonded through a love of their mentor, L. Even still they grew up tighter… and what they had was undeniably some form of a relationship.   
Near hadn’t felt whole since the Kira case. Mello he had respected a great deal. He knew the older by had qualities he lacked and was very intelligent. He admitted multiple times, and under no outside pressure, that Mello was necessary for his own success. He had said it when Mello was alive. He had said it after he was cold in the ground. Even the sin he despised the most in other- murder- he understood when it was Mello. Went as far as to defend his actions to the SPK.   
If there was another case as challenging as Kira’s, Near felt fear for his own fate. He was not L- not truly, and he did not have Mello. Was there any way for him to learn to replace another soul? To balance himself, to be his own second half, to even consider being as good as an idol? He wished Mello was here to mock his insecurities. Being laughed at might be good for him right now. He always loved a challenge.   
Sometimes the chocolate he now bought tasted so bitter…


End file.
